Last week marked the 6th year since I met HTA. Funny how circumstances could have been so different. All due to a forgotten phone and going back to retrieve it did we meet.
I'm thankful he is in my life. I sometimes wonder where I would be or what would be different if I had not met him. It literally makes me feel empty inside - thinking of him not in my life on some level. But would my marriage be different? Would I be happier with my husband without his distraction?
I don't think anything would have changed with my marriage as far as staying married. Being with HTA in some way made me push harder to try and make things better b/c I saw it was possible to "feel" again and felt better about myself to push and assert myself. Are things better with my husband? They actually are. Physically nothing much has changed but at a minimum, I know we are communicating better and counseling has helped. Will it ever get to the point that I just want to be friends with HTA? I don't know. Its not there yet.
I don't regret anything that has occurred the past 6 years. It has run a full circle on where my head was during specific time frames and what I thought I wanted vs. needed. I think for once, he and I are probably as close to being in the same place then we ever have. We don't talk or text as frequently - both of our "real" lives are increasingly busy but both of us are there for each other if something comes up. We do communicate at least weekly and that works for both of us. I no longer get anxious or over think when I don't hear from him for a few days. I still get butterflies when I see him, he says the build up to seeing me is almost unbearable once he knows dates and plans are set (our texts building up what is going to occur when we see each other is the reason I'm sure!). The physical connection is still amazing, the sex is still unbelievable and I don't have any intention on changing anything from my side.
Looking forward to seeing each other shortly and then again in a few months. It continues to be the motto of "it is what it is" and I'm thankful we are both completely on the same page with why we are OK with that and why it continues.
I'm thankful he is in my life. I sometimes wonder where I would be or what would be different if I had not met him. It literally makes me feel empty inside - thinking of him not in my life on some level. But would my marriage be different? Would I be happier with my husband without his distraction?
I don't think anything would have changed with my marriage as far as staying married. Being with HTA in some way made me push harder to try and make things better b/c I saw it was possible to "feel" again and felt better about myself to push and assert myself. Are things better with my husband? They actually are. Physically nothing much has changed but at a minimum, I know we are communicating better and counseling has helped. Will it ever get to the point that I just want to be friends with HTA? I don't know. Its not there yet.
I don't regret anything that has occurred the past 6 years. It has run a full circle on where my head was during specific time frames and what I thought I wanted vs. needed. I think for once, he and I are probably as close to being in the same place then we ever have. We don't talk or text as frequently - both of our "real" lives are increasingly busy but both of us are there for each other if something comes up. We do communicate at least weekly and that works for both of us. I no longer get anxious or over think when I don't hear from him for a few days. I still get butterflies when I see him, he says the build up to seeing me is almost unbearable once he knows dates and plans are set (our texts building up what is going to occur when we see each other is the reason I'm sure!). The physical connection is still amazing, the sex is still unbelievable and I don't have any intention on changing anything from my side.
Looking forward to seeing each other shortly and then again in a few months. It continues to be the motto of "it is what it is" and I'm thankful we are both completely on the same page with why we are OK with that and why it continues.
It is just over six years since I first met A. It has been on again off again at times. Other lovers have come and gone. But she has always been there, Not that we were always seeing each other, only that I always knew that she and I were still linked in some way. And as with you, the sex has always been something unlike anything else I have had.
ReplyDeleteMore than once I have told her that, given a choice, she and I would continue to be lovers for the rest of our lives. So I don't see any reason that, busy lives or not that you and HTA should not keep what you have found with each other. It works, it gives you something, and someone, that you need.